We Go Way Back: 25 of the Best Historical Fiction Books of the Past 10 Years, The Bestselling Books of the Week, According to All the Lists, New Releases Tuesday: The Best Books Out This Week, 11 of the Best Shnen Manga to Read in 2023. [70], In the evening of the Slug Club Christmas party, on 20 December, Filch caught Draco Malfoy lurking in an upstairs corridor, most likely going to the Room of Requirement to repair the Vanishing Cabinet. It'll be worse for you if you do.Filch's sadistic enjoyment when punishing students. Neatly forged paperwork lands Ed a job teaching summer school remedial chemistry to children who are older than he is. Once there, Slughorn said that he had not issued him an invitation. Lets do the Time Warp Again by Rorschach's Blot. [42], Later in the evening of that same day, Sirius Black broke into the Castle and tried to enter Gryffindor Tower; this resulted in the destruction of the Fat Lady's portrait. This is a story in which Harry has sex with just about everyone. Filch talked to her and called her "my sweet". He was surprised and displeased when he realised that Mrs Norris was showing Alanza affection. Though not its own fanfic,Potteroticais a podcast worth checking out for any fan of Harry Potter erotica. After the Gryffindor Quidditch team's practice on 24 October, Mrs Norris saw Harry Potter who was covered in soil and dirt. [82] He presumably kept doing what he was used to: punishing the students and arguing with Peeves the Poltergeist, even under the new Headmistress Minerva McGonagall. Yes, this is Draco Malfoy and an apple. On occasion, he fruitlessly scrubbed the message with Mrs Skower's All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover, but to no effect. InA Bit of Respite by Bryonia Alba,Percy and Oliver get some much needed alone time. This isn't going to be everybody's cup of tea. Harry's 6th year is off to a rough start. Work Search: They were given detention in the Forbidden Forest, along with deductions of fifty house points each. [72], Filch greatly trusted Madam Rosmerta, the bartender of the Three Broomsticks Inn, in that he would actually neglect the proper protocols and allow anything from her to enter the castle without properly inspecting them beforehand. [4], Harry Potter: Hogwarts MysteryArgus' sceptical personality against Jacob's sibling party invitation, In the 19841985 school year, Filch and Mrs Norris found the cursed ice. And above all, who is the mysterious and elusive guest? Harry Potter Wiki is a FANDOM Movies Community. Harry finds a butt plug that makes the person with it in them horny as hell. ! Came the screeching of Molly Weasley who had taken to clearing Lockhearts signing table and laying spread eagle on her back, knickers round her ankles. [18] Although Filch was a Squib and could not make the map work properly,[18] he did know that it was called the Marauder's Map. Among his many file cabinets documenting the punishments he handed out over the years, Filch had an entire drawer dedicated to the twins. He always begged Headmaster Albus Dumbledore to let him suspend students by their ankles from the ceiling. Hermione makes a brief appearance as well. by snarkysweetness. Hearing this, Filch thought that Peeves stole the egg. There are so many different potential pairings and/or groupings with which fanfic authors can play around. Please bear in mind that this list could hardly be comprehensive because there are so many fantastic pairings and stories to choose from, and feel free to share your own favorites in the comments. This content contains affiliate links. Filch confiscated a shrunken head from Vincent Crabbe. We ask that you follow our rules and guidelines by visiting the Policy Category. In The Wolfsbane Effect by Kerichi, Remus is torn between his two loves, Tonks and Sirius. [59] Later that same month, after Gryffindor's abysmal performance in their Quidditch match against Hufflepuff, the Slytherin sang Weasley is Our King so loudly and frequently that Filch banned the song from the corridors out of sheer irritation.[60]. Varying Nature by Bunnyhops tells the tale of a threesome between Hermione, Ginny, and Luna, the lesbian Golden Trio. [52], Yerse I've been telling Dumbledore for years and years he's too soft with you all. He was later approached by Jacob's sibling who was concerned about Pince's plan for the Ball and told him Pince loved gorgeous settings such as such as flowers, music and refreshments instead. Sexetera, Ad Infinitumby nqdonne is the story for you then. On the night stand, beside a plate that was empty but for a few crumbs, lay his wand and glasses. Filch was furious and kicked Harry out off his office, trying to convince him that the letter was not his, and ordering him not to tell anyone. They attracted his attention by sticking a Blood Pop in Mrs Norris's fur. He is found and adopted by Merlin and is stuck in the past and is immortal until his time approaches. He's thrilled to be going to the only place he considered home. Albus is having the worst birthday ever, and James comes to his rescue. Out of the Fire and into the Cupboard by HalfASlug. [2] It can be assumed that Filch was grateful after Mrs Norris was cured. Of course, as Filch had no inherent magical powers, this was of little use. Though clearly thinking that Professor McGonagall had gone insane, Filch complied. [16], On 8 November, Filch helped Severus Snape to apply bandages in order to dress the wounds on his leg after the Potions Master had been bitten by Fluffy. Harry felt no dread, no terror, no anger or fury or resentment. Were giving away a stack of our 20 favorite books of the year. [9] During the Battle, when the Death Eaters marched towards the Castle with Harry's "dead body", he was clearly solemn as he stood by Horace Slughorn, Pomona Sprout, and Poppy Pomfrey,[82] despite all their differences, as his death meant the victory of the Death Eaters. Velhomaailmassa on monia erikoisia perinteit, jotkut niist ovat Harrylle iloisia ylltyksi. As Dolores Umbridge was a sadist who enjoyed torturing students, Filch could relate to her views on a number of levels. [13], On 12 September, Draco Malfoy challenged Harry Potter to a duel in the Trophy Room at midnight. So this erotic fanfic has a little bit to offer to both the canon fans and the WolfStar believers. He felt perfectly content. Or even just one page. My sweet! 1. [72], On 17 March, Filch did his usual prodding act with the Secrecy Sensor as some of the sixth years departed the school for an Apparition lesson at Hogsmeade. How will being left in the hands of a sexual predator at a young age affect the upcoming war? Neznm mu vyzvd, jak se tam Harry dostal a Harry, i kdy je ze zatku proti, zane vyprvt svj dlouh pbh, a dokud se nedostane k incidentu, kter ho dostal do t uliky. After being freed, Astra wants to know all about the life of her old friend, Harry. In contrast to this warning, Hagrid remained his jovial self and tried to assure all of them that they were safe. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty-seven items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr Filch's office, if anybody would like to check it.Albus Dumbledore starts his announcements over the Start-of-Term Feast, Before the start of the school term, Filch extended the list of forbidden objects within the school premises so that it included four hundred and thirty-seven items, including Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. On one occasion, he terrified a pair of first-year girls into hysterics. Filch also did not suspect anything that was from Rosmerta, another factor that would have permitted the necklace and poisoned mead to enter the castle as well as a flaw that Draco attempted to take advantage of. [67] Filch brought her her luggage, as she was stopped by a mob of Daily Prophet reporters who took pictures of her escape. A darker Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley get together shortly after Voldemort's return. In July, Argus Filch attended Dumbledore's funeral in an ancient black suit and tie reeking of mothballs, paying his respects for the man who, despite their opposing views on student punishment, gave him employment as a Squib. There are so many Drapple fics to choose from, but one of the steamiest isForbidden Fruitby Charlotte Blackwood. Hes bitter.Ron Weasley's explanation of Filch's grouchy personality, Very foul-tempered, cantankerous, and easily annoyed, Filch had an extremely unpleasant personality. The Dragons Brideby Rizzle, Hermione and Draco find themselves naked, tattooed, and married after a drunken night of debauchery. Short as fuck, I know, but take it or leave it. Sybill Trelawney has a catastrophic vision: Teantaichean, the terrifying monster of a thousand tentacles, is summoned by a treacherous wizard who desires the destruction of all the wizards world. [57] Filch also assisted Umbridge when she had Trelawney sacked, something he most likely took pleasure in, as it caused Trelawney great stress and reduced her to tears. Now that we are all fed and watered I must once more ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices. Every Tuesday, hosts Allie LeFevere, Lyndsay Rush, and Danny Chapman read a new chapter of Harry Potter erotic fanfiction. [71], On 19 December, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger argued and speculated whether or not Filch and Madam Pince were secretly in love with each other. [56] Umbridge started passing Educational Decrees to suppress and outlaw behaviour of which the Ministry did not approve. After he opened a book that screamed, Filch arrived on the scene almost immediately but was unable to see Harry. Harry wanted him to do stuff for money, so Gilderoy naturally did as he was told. Harry Potter is a slut. Please consider turning it on! [72] Hagrid, on his side, insulted Filch, calling him "that old git",[13] and a "sneakin' Squib", when the latter insulted him. In 1991, Harry and Ron managed to get on Filch's bad side on their very first day at Hogwarts School, when he and Ronald Weasley got lost and inadvertently tried to enter the out-of-bounds third-floor corridor. However, he did reveal to them he had heard rumours that he had been spotted in the Hogwarts Library. Chapter Text. [65] Due to all those misdeeds, Filch prowled the corridors with a horsewhip ready in his hands, desperate to catch students in the act, but the problem was that there were now so many of them, he never knew which way to turn. [46], That school year, the Triwizard Tournament took place at Hogwarts. [53], Prior to the start of the school term, Filch fastened the list of forbidden items to his office door in an attempt to make students read it. Thus, the caretaker started to support Umbridge and follow her orders. [31], Harry Potter and the Philosopher's StoneFilch tries to catch the trio and Neville Longbottom breaking rules, By 1991, Filch had Mrs Norris, his cat, following Rubeus Hagrid every time he went up into the Castle. When he realised that Jacob was their brother, he told them he should punish them while he still had the chance, given their brother's bad reputation. He also told him that someone had broken into his personal office. InThe Ladderby Cheryl Dyson, the couple gets frisky in the library. [63], Sometime after the Easter holidays, Fred and George Weasley set off a Portable Swamp on the Fifth Floor Corridor, and left the school in a blaze of glory. [16] When she was Petrified by Salazar Slytherin's Basilisk, Filch was devastated and started sobbing, which made Harry Potter feel slightly sorry for him, though he felt a lot more sorry for himself, fearing he might be expelled. As Snape discussed with Filch, he wanted to take those objects in order to find who they belonged to (suspecting that they were Harry's). Write as much as you can. [75] His obsession with the castle's cleanliness led him to neglect actual security at times, as he forgot to lock the doors at least one time even in the more dangerous hours, something Slughorn reprimanded him for. This story a sweet mix of unrequited love and BDSM. Harry is in his 2nd year when he gets another detention from Lockhart. I cant write that well so dont expect anything amazing!! He was favoured by his mother and neglected by his father. Filch, later, brought the jewel-encrusted casket with the Goblet of Fire inside. A few feet away, in the bed next to Harry's slept their son, having not even removed his shoes before collapsing into exhaustive, deep sleep. A mysterious little boy named Harry moves in next door to Draco Malfoy, and he's determined to make him his friend and learn all of his secrets. Not enough for you? [77], He admitted he liked that "Madam Pince won't stand for rule breaking" and he liked it "in a witch". Neville Longbottom has a romp with Luna Lovegood inWhat if I Do It Wrong? During his tenure as Headmaster, Snape kept Filch working at Hogwarts despite his status as a Squib. He also told Professor Dumbledore, in what he said was the four-hundred-and-sixty second time, to remind the students that magic was not permitted in corridors between classes.[53]. If youre more interested in everyone having sex with everyone else (including twincest), tryMake A Noteby Inell. No matter what your interests, if youre a Harry Potter fan (and who isnt? [10], Little is known about Filch's early life. Now for the really weird erotica, the stories that defy classification. Filch was also the only one of the Hogwarts staff to stay at Hogwarts Castle during the summer holidays. Harry really did love him to allow him such an honor. Despite his magical parentage, Filch was a Squib, meaning he could not perform magic. Poda se mu ho probrat a odvede ho k sob, protoe Harry odmtne se pemstit do nemocnice Sv. What's this racket? DO NOT READ IF THE TAGS MAKE YOU SICK NOT A HAPPY STORY FOR HARRY! Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor by cloneserpents - In this beloved erotic comedy with over 1,000 reviews, Harry leads his friends on a Horcrux hunt after reading a magical book that gives him special powers. Apparently, Filch lost some of his duties, as punishment seemed to be given out exclusively by the Carrows and Severus Snape. [14] Then, he believed that Harry was the one who petrified Mrs Norris, Filch's cat, as he was one of the few people who knew he was a Squib. One of the fandoms favorite non-canon pairings is Dramione (Draco/Hermione). [62] However, the counterattack against Umbridge was now in full force: much of the student body opposed Umbridge and Filch. Yes, this is a brother/brother smut story. Filch said that this did not make him happy, but the look on his face seemed to say otherwise, but as it was Christmas, Slughorn let Draco stay with no punishment. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of AzkabanFilch is suspicious of Harry Potter as he wanders around the school, During the next school year, the alleged mass-murderer Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban and the Ministry of Magic stationed Dementors around the entrances to the grounds in order to protect the school and Harry Potter, which was thought to be Black's target. [27] Later during this school year, he caught Jacob's sibling and their friends on the Training Grounds at night after hours, and took them to the Headmaster's office for punishment. [13], During the Start-of-Term Feast in the evening of 1 September, Filch stood by the double doors leading to the Great Hall as Headmaster Albus Dumbledore gave his start-of-term notices. If you want more straightforward Remus/Sirius smut,Ten Minutesby KatScratches is the fic for you. [9] Filch never ceased his futile efforts to get Peeves expelled from the castle, and Peeves never stopped taunting Filch. [65], No one, however, could compete with the master of chaos, Peeves. While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. When Ginny finds a discarded recipe from the twin's fledgling business, she realizes she and Harry can use it to get rid of his enemies - and get some pleasure out of it in return. Work Search: Harry Potter gives it a try with Moaning Myrtle inHarry Potters Ghostly Experienceby mercuryidols. He even put a chair against the wall to keep guard there. [70][71] Most of the staff appeared to dislike Filch's grumpy and antipathetic personality, such as Minerva McGonagall, who could often be irritated by his behaviour (to the point of forgoing her usual politeness with fellow staff by calling him a "blithering idiot"),[9] and Horace Slughorn, who intended to report him for being more concerned about cleaning up than with the students' security. [61] The Ministry passed the Educational Decree Number Twenty-Eight overnight, making Dolores Umbridge Headmistress of Hogwarts.[62]. Dont forget to leave a comment about your favorite Harry Potter pairing or erotic fanfic. [41], On 31 October, Filch stood by the Entrance Hall checking the names of those going to the first Hogsmeade trip of the term. [2], During the next years, Harry disliked Filch even more, especially when the caretaker took the side of Dolores Umbridge, during Harry's fifth year. [9], Later on, Filch and Madam Pomfrey oversaw the evacuation procedure of underage students and of those not willing to fight, via the Room of Requirement. Feel free to suggest any pairings/situations you'd like to see, and eventually I'll try to include them (it could take a while). What a stupid question. However, Dumbledore managed to convince Filch that Harry was not responsible, as he could not have performed such Dark magic, being twelve years old at the time. This is weird and awful and bad things happen in it. Please, dont do this. He squeezed his eyes shut as cold air came in contact with his semi-erect cock. Highlights from the author include Anxious, a 31-chapter epic exploration of Ron and Hermiones very adult relationship, and Midnight, a sexy Deathly Hallows-era one shot. [29], During the 19901991 school year, Filch was tricked into giving Madam Pince Hiccough Sweets, causing her to leave the library's Restricted Section unattended. [36] Ron spent the evening of 5 September, 1992 with Filch, and kept burping up slugs all over Tom Riddle's Special Award for Services to the School. ARTHUR WHERE IS MY IMPREGNATION? Argus Filch was a rheumatic man[62] with hunched-shoulders[9] and a hunchback. Mu ho probrat a odvede ho k sob, protoe Harry odmtne se pemstit do Sv. His attention by sticking a Blood Pop in Mrs Norris was cured by Bryonia,! 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