Ive had absolutely enough. He drinks constantly. Im a very physical touch/ Quality time person. I know for sure that he likes me as well. Next thing I woke up to a text. Life is too short to waste it being miserable and stressed out and fighting over stupid shit. 1 Assess the situation. He said he loved me pretty much from the beginning, but never made an effort to see me or make plans unless I suggested it. It shouldnt have bothered me except the fact he didnt get me one. Im starting to think he doesnt want to marry me. You will end up hating yourself. When I ask him about it hes adamant that he still wants to be with me for the long haul and that he still loves me the way that he did when we met, which I feel so bad for doubting but its just so hard not to when things change like that. When i pull back abit, i notice it is when he makes an effort. Some of your traits are similar to mine and some are similar to someone that I was dating at the time. work game sleep. But have to understand yourself mentality first because if not you will lose yourself in the process. First off I pulled back without warning. I still have ticket stubs from all the movies we saw and how much trouble weve gotten into together. The one girl has sent him particularly sweet friendly messages on Whatsapp a few times so Im even more jealous than I already was. Maybe not right now but sooner than 5 years from now, of that I am certain. should i stay or let go? My name is leonna and I have been seeing this amazing guy for 3 months now. You can spend a lifetime figuring out a persons situation and analyze things, but at the end of the day, actions are louder than words, and if a man/women REALLY wants to be with you, they will move mountains. This is the only problem in our relationship, the lack of effort. he said he had been trying to email me but i dont rlly believe it I never got anything. When I ask him (nearly beg him) to do something so simple such as make the bed, I come home at 3 pm from work when he has the day off and the bed, room, everything including him is a mess! Its going to make me fall out of love as he is so defensive and cannot solve the issue. I feel like Im the only one putting any effort for us to spend time together. Just stop allowing that guy to keep thrusting a dagger in your heart. This is exactly me, I always feel stupid for caring more, its like the bane of my existence. "It was hard taking the constant rejection." Hes just too self-absorbed. fyi, he was at a party yesterday until 6am. He tries to make me think Im crazy when I talk him about it. So, my boyfriend and i have known each other our entire lives. I didnt really understand why he said that when I been there since day one and still been here but I wanted to also considered how he felt and change that. Maybe he no longer loves you the way he used to. He now expects this but does not reciprocate. I dont know what to do. Since a month or so these fights are causing me to have panic attacks and he doesnt care when tell him how much it affects me. Also, Ive been having a lot of cheating dreams but Im assuming its because he doesnt make me feel secure in the relationship because of the change. thank you so much for posting this article since i really need clarity for my mind . His answer was, Havent I been patient enough? I really love him and care for him. We would always say I like you instead of I love you. Try not to get upset, irritated, or emotional. Dont turn a blind eye on things that are sign showing and you are not happy for them. He says he loves me but he just doesnt act like it. forgive me for my wrong grammars im a filipina and im not that good in expressing myself in english. His complaint is that no matter what he does is never enough and that I dont contribution anything. I love drinking with him and having a laugh but he doesnt seem to feel the same. To never have to apologize to me, to never have compassion, to never find contentment, to never make up for hurting me, to never stop enjoying it. And mind you the beginning of relationship we always traveled and did things together. Heres my concern-We live 70kms apart amd stick to phone calls and texts and online communication. I need suggestions on how to deal with this. Hes never really posted pictures of us on social media and hes been very non intimate. 6 Ways to Revive Your Relationship. :'(. When were on nights out and theres drink involved, he has a habit of literally disappearing for the whole day (with other people he knows that arent in my circle) and he doesnt contact me, when I try to contact him he usually does answer but after talking to him I never see any sign of him. The main problem in our relationship is one: I go out of my way for him all the time and apparently that is ok. My boyfriend and I have known each other since I was 18 years old. Recently,he told me hell be busy with work and i tried to understand our situation right now..But he i feel like he doesnt seems to give much effort for this relationship to get closer. Honestly, I cant feel good about myself because I gave an attention hungry narcissist permission to treat me like crap for 7 years. So any advice would be helpful. I waited though and suffered through almost being forced to move across the country when after he graduated and wanted a new job but couldnt find one- that was the only opportunity he had and was about to force me to uproot MY life, quit school, to go. He said he did. He loves the gym and usually chooses that over me, hanging out with his friends etc but then when we do actually spend time together hes all over me and appreciates me so much and makes me feel amazing. Were both not yet married with our partners since both of our relationship with our partners is not okay. Although he did not tell me this beforehand, we have been trying to work on these issues and improve our relationship. I was 15 when we got together and he is like my best friend I love him very much the problem is, I just feel like I do everything I can to make him feel comfortable and cared for and he does very little at all. Were both in college and when we started dating we were together all the time, we went out together with friends, we watched movies, etc. There is no consistency. Never any action. He lost his dad, my nana nearly died and now needs constant care then her partner died and now this lockdown. Carve out time for conversation, get in tune with their needs, stop avoiding difficult chats, empathize with what they say, and listen to how they say it. How much do you know about his life, family, friends and job? I am retired. Then, youll know what to do when your boyfriend makes no effort in your relationship. He spends hours playing videogames and if I want us to go to bed together I always have to be waiting for him till 4 in the morning even when I have classes at 9, and when I wanna go to bed earlier I cant even sleep because of the noise and flashing lights of the videogame. Men just are good at keeping it closed up. After I voiced my frustration, he said hes been busy with trying to get a promotion at work and on his free time he spends it with his son. Anyway I would talk about these things with him and he would make progress, but then get right back to the same place shortly after. We dont barely talk to each other. What would you do? Lets see whats they do. I have huge expectations but Ive accepted that hes not the guy that throw big surprises and continue to fear that the more I lower my expectations, the more he thinks im willing to settle for less even after his military is over. the hard part is we have a very deep connection, we understand eachother, and have the best friendship any partner could have I have recently told him on a few occasions how unhappy I have become. And he certainly isnt going to change without a real reason, e.g., losing someone he cares about. Now, what do I *do*? However, I do know something that will help immensely. I have been with my bf for 5 years. I just feel hurt and we just had a big fight yesterday and I feel kinda empty. Its too much. I had sent him links to little trinkets and gifts. I gave him the benefit of the doubt too many times. Which was Im looking so bad I dont want neighbours to see me like this. The first year was good, with what I call sparks! He is very sporadic with hugs and holding hands. Im planning to attend grad school this coming August and I havent manage to get all my stuff in yet because Im busy with my kiddos, house chores and helping him with work. Also he always respond but hes texting less. Were both in high school now. What do I talk about with my girlfriend? My boyfriend and I been together for a few months ,we dated not really long time ago and now we are in long distance. Listen to your intuition, it never lies. But, he still seems emotionally unavailable in that he doesnt know how to express his feelings for me, or reassure me. Im ready to just get out of this soon. I forgot the bin was being collected and it was due to arrive in a few hours, he didnt take it out. Its also about giving a relationship the time But he was not my husband and my family didnt approve of such activities before marriage. Been with my boyfriend 2 years.he told me he smokes pot, which than i said im not supporting your habbit (which i meant financially). You can go through the next 10 years like this cause this man is not miraculously going to change.do not for 1 minute think he is going to suddenly wake up and be who you want him to be. If you depend on him for your self-identity and self-image, then you have to learn how to be an emotionally strong woman in your relationships. .he is older than me 5 years older and I started dating him because I thought he was mature but every time we fought he puts me down telling me Im fat, Im disgusting, no one will ever want meabout a year ago I went through something where I needed all the support I could get and he left me and didnt have my back..10 years later we have no sex and its always in excuse as to why we are not having ithe continues to call me names and everytime I tell him my true feelings it seems like he dosent care, Ive asked him if he would like to try and start all over because I would still wanna be with him and he agrees and says yes and once again we keep going like through this cycle that never ends..I just wanna be happy at this point I dont know why he dosent try a little harder but Im tired. 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